Mediation requires a substantial commitment of time and resources. I am committed to achieving conflict resolution, so that you may have some peace in your life. But you also must be committed to prepare for mediation. It is essential to success. Here are a few key points to think about well in advance of mediation:
- Do you have the documents and information regarding your assets? For example, do you have current bank, investment, and retirement account statements? If the value of real property is in dispute, you may want to obtain an appraisal before mediation. You must think through your assets and liabilities to determine whether you need additional information before making decisions during mediation regarding the division of your community estate and your financial future.
- Do you have a current inventory (spreadsheet) of your assets and liabilities supported by the statements? Do you have a comparative inventory containing a side-by-side comparison of each party’s version of the assets and liabilities and their values? These inventories should be prepared prior to mediation.
- Have you thought through your best case and worse case scenarios if you decide not to resolve your case at mediation, but rather, invite the judge or jury to make the critical decisions for you? A successful resolution should fall somewhere between your best day in court and your worst day in court.
- Have you prepared a list of your most important mediation goals? Clear goals communicated to the mediator are important to your success and to managing valuable time at mediation.
- Do you have a written initial proposal to jump start the negotiations? Time passes quickly at mediation. Valuable time is wasted if a party waits until mediation to formulate his or her opening proposal.
- Are you able to shift your focus from what has happened in the past (which cannot be changed) to your vision of the future? Do you have an open mind that will allow you to consider the opposing party’s position? You should—because the court is going to consider each side’s position and rule accordingly. Don’t assume that the court will hear your side of the story and magically give you 100% of what you request. It won’t happen.
- Have you cleared your schedule, so you may focus on the mediation process? Mediation is just that—a focused process that takes time. In fact, it could run long; mediations do not generally finish on the hour. Progress is thwarted when a party has to leave before the process is complete. Plan ahead to dedicate the time to making the important decisions that will shape your future.
- Who is influencing your decisions? Well-meaning family and friends care about you, but often respond from an emotional point of view that will not help you to achieve a successful outcome. A divorce or custody proceeding is a lawsuit. It will be resolved at mediation or the courthouse based on the facts and the law. Your lawyer knows the law and how it applies to your facts. Listen to your lawyer and follow his or her advice.
One of the primary impediments to resolving a case via mediation is a lack of preparation. Be prepared, so I may help you achieve success.
